Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize