Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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