He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize