If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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