I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
