was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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