He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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