It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
