dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
