I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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