D3 body, D1 cock
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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