i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Two words: blizzard sex
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
