i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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