I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
