I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
