3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
