Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

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(785): View more from Kansas

First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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(563): View more from Iowa

If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests

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(516): View more from New York

i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it

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(330): View more from Ohio

You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands

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(419): View more from Ohio

Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.

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