; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
