he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
