Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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