Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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