i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
