There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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