Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
