A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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