Who did Billy Mays play for?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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