we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
