i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Randomize
