dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
