They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize