idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
