All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I smell stomach acid.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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