It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
