my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
