i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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