i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
