Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
