i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
