so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
