there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
