I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
