I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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