Well douche your snatch and let's go!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
