His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I forget how to act sober
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
