he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
