the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
