I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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