just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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