the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
