well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
