Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
