thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
