When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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