he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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