I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
