the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
