Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
