i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize