I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize