what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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